And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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