All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
