Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
