I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
