I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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