So drunk its hurt
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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