I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
