did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
