Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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