we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
