honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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