The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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