is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
