I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
