Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
