Fine. I'll sleep in my office
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She bit a glass in half.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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