I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I would ride that face into the sunset
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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