Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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