i permit you to call me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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