would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
