The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
