Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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