Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
