so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
