i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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