let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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