you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
