just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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