Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
