Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
