if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
