I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
