I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
