I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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