the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
