I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
