hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
