redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
