you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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