I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
