he thought i was a dude.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
