so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
