I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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