dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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