i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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