whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
