Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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