Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
