Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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