i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
